For mother’s day I won my dream prize from Moms notes magazine.
A custom necklace from violet and Rose jewellers
I have always wanted a disc with my initial and birthstone, so this was a dream come true and I was elated that I had won.
I’ve never waited for a prize with so much longing and then Covid-19 happened and we were forced into lockdown. This meant I would need to wait until couriers were open again before recieving my prize.
The entire time, Victoria & Rose were amazing. Keeping me updated on the progress of my necklace as I drooled over the stunning pieces on their facebook feed.
Last week as we waited for an engraver to open I asked if they could change the text …asking them to inscribe the word Fidem.
Why Fidem ?
People often question the Latin inscription of the purple tattoo blazed up on my left wrist.
A single word -FIDEM, tattooed in old style Gaelic purple ink.
The word itself means Faith, but to me so much more than just a word.
Years ago, I sat battered, broken, alone and defeated nursing a dislocated, fractured hip, squashed vertebrae in my back,a broken heart and 6 children to love and care for.
I cried for hours, screaming and swearing at God. What as he doing?What had I done to deserve this punishment? I loved my husband. He wasn’t perfect, but none of us are. I tried hard to rationalize and comprehend the events that had lead to him becoming the monster I’d faced.
It was in these moments, alone and petrified on an isolated farm that I came across the word -Fidem.
I had prayed for an answer and this was the word God gave me.
I didn’t understand. It made no sense. I needed a concrete plan. One that involved knowing how I’d care for my children as a single, unemployed mom who couldn’t walk for the next month or so.
The events that followed included me giving my husband a second chance , and 3 years later looking back at all the doors God opened through my faith to allow me to leave him.
By then I knew God had a better plan for my future, and whilst I don’t always understand where he leads I am always reminded that (jer:9.11)’ He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper not to perish.’
So, its with blind faith that I follow His lead and whilst you may not always find me sitting in the front pew of church or baking cakes for ladies teas my faith in God never falters.
I chose to inscribe the word in old style Gaelic as I believe those with blind unquestionable faith are a beautiful,selective few, just as the old manuscripts handwritten in calligraphy styles of print are.
Words have been my solace through many of my lifes hardest trials and I wear my scarred memories with pride.
The purple represents my God. His presence in my life and His grace. Purple is also the colour of the bruises left both physically and emotionally. A reminder that through my faith I can over come anything.
I wear my word of courage and belief on my left arm, because when I feel defeated and alone I am always reminded that my faith is what I have left.
Faith that this too shall pass.
Faith that tomorrow the sun will shine and the day will begin again.
Faith that I am capable, that I will overcome and that my God has a plan that will lead me through and guide me to my purpose and His desired plan for my life.
Fidem has become my word for each year, my reminder that ” this to shall pass”, acknowledgement of the trials my God has brought me through and a testimony to the faith I have in myself to reach my dreams.
At my vision board workshop with The creative space with sonja I wrote the word fidem, to represent a faith in myself to achieve my dreams.
My prize is delivered
And so on Monday, the first day of our new journey in our new home, as I unpacked the work needed to launch my new business later this month and as I was feeling slightly overwealmed with the new house, cleaning it and the 7 gazillion things I need to do to catch up taking a week off from my blogs and Blogboss …my message arrived at my door ….
HAVE FAITH 💞
To Moms notes magazine and Violet & Rose thank you for the most amazing prize.