A tribute to a wonderful soul

An hour ago, I heard the news that a friend had passed.

This beacon of light was and always will be a symbol of courage, generosity and love.

B was a single mom raising a daughter with disabilities. She was brave. She had faced diversity, seen life and her journey had led her far.

But mostly she loved unconditionally.  She loved fiercely. She loved openly.

No matter what the world had thrown at her, she remained someone who loved kindly.

Her daughter and her granddaughters were the flowers in her garden and she was so proud of them.

Her light shone so brightly and it was in one of my lowest moments that she walked into my life, embraced every flaw I had and slowly helped me to not only grow in confidence and self esteem but showed me how to make my light glow on the days when the darkness seemed far too heavy.

It seemed only right …that I share her part in my journey here in these pages.

Karoo memories 

Many moons ago, in another lifetime it seems, I was a young homeschool mom of 6 kids, separated from my childrens father, living on empty and trying to navigate life in an old Cape Dutch house I rented in the small town of Aberdeen, in the Eastern Cape.

I was holding it together, just barley, when I met two amazing moms who had just relocated to the little town.

B was an amazing, stylish older mom to a beautiful daughter and H was the mom of a lovely son and daughter, my children’s age.

By some miracle of chance I got to know these women and as it turned out they both needed me to homeschool their children.

And, just like that, in one afternoon over coffee at my weather beaten kitchen table, my little school was started and my class grew from 6 to 9 and a little later to 12 when another family joined.

These moms belief in me came at a time when I was doubting myself. When I considered placing my children in school and when I couldn’t see how I was going to earn enough to keep them fed and a roof over our heads.

After so many nights of uncertainty and prayer, these wonderful women had enabled me to not only continue homeschooling my own children, but also allowed me to dream my dream of having a little school and supporting my children.

I now had a regular income, an amazing villiage of friends in a town and a purpose.

Overnight ….. they changed my life!

Friends

There was nothing that seemed impossible in those days.

These two moms guided my days of trying to get my ex to support his children with maintenance, they understood the hard moments when my children missed their dad and gave me courage when I was tired as they loved me through each mistake, each hard day, each tear.

Mornings now consisted of coffee and chats with evening walks. I was never without a large group of children as we explored our little town.

When I had an idea for our class these ladies had my back, they came armed with supplies, they dropped off cakes and snacks and sometimes whole baskets of food if they knew our cupboards were running low, always claiming they had bought too much.

When I decided we would host a play for the town, these ladies rallied all the neighbour’s, made flyers, sold tickets and cheered the loudest in the audience.

In a town where I had felt alone and vulnerable, they stepped in and stepped up and for that I am always greatful.

The Bistro

At one point, months later, B opened a bistro, a few houses down from our house.

It was decided that I would help her by working in the bistro.

My mornings were now filled with morning school lessons, afternoons with my children and evenings helping her in the bistro.

I loved these moments. I was exhausted, living on very little sleep but my world and my own views opened so much in the few months I worked for her.

Here I learned to cook and relished in the stories that she told me of her travels, her youth, her life.

Here we laughed at the passing travellers we knew were dining with a girlfriend and we tried to add a touch of glam to the dusty Karoo town with folded towels in the bathroom or faux roses on the table.

Many years later, I still fold my towels this way and at least once a year I still make the apple crumble she so patiently taught me. Telling me how every women needs a signature dish.

So many nights as we closed up for the evening,giggling like school girls and as we packed up walking home we’d talk about deeper things under the stars.

Moving on 

These moments seem like a lifetime ago.

And as life does, things change. B and I, weren’t spared changes. We both went on separate journeys connected only by Facebook.

Yet, I can still hear her advise, still see the laughter lines and when I think of style shes the person I think of.

As I read the message of her passing, slow tears formed, slowly trickling down my cheeks and I’m reminded of the saying….

 

“People will always remember you for how you make them feel “

Dearest B thank you for always making me feel seen, supported and loved.

Rest easy my friend