Author: Judy

West Pack Lifestyle is one of those “Go To” stores where you know you can find a bargain, stretch a buck and grab an assortment of everything you need for your home, kids, party or the latest craft supplies for that last minute school project.

When I lived in Gauteng they were my first stop for party goods, kitchenware, toys for the kids and storage solutions.

So when I discovered they were launching a store in the Western Cape I immediately diarised the date.

Saturday launch

Saturday came and we woke up early to head from Kommetjie to Somerset West for the launch.

The evening before I had shown Hamish the cute Cici bird mascot and he was super excited to meet him, in fact so was I.

Cici the crazy craft mascot

As an avid crafter I often order Crazy Craft products online and as the previous owner of a dress up costume shop, when you add mascots and crafts in the same sentence you have my full attention.

We drove the full 60 minutes to Somerset West, with a very impatient Hamish eager to meet Cici and asking every few minutes ” Are we there yet ?”

In the car Brent was mulling over promotions in hopes that there may be some great opening specials on the braai and outdoor products and my teacher mom mind was already wondering how many educational games are too many.

In the store

We finally arrived and if you haven’t seen it yet the new store is at the Somerset Value Mart centre in Centenary drive,  Somerset west.

There was ample enough parking and even though the shop was increadibly busy we were able to find parking relatively easy.

At the entrance to the store we were greeted by brightly coloured gazebos promoting several brands and as we had arrived late, we missed the stunning dancers, trolley dash and unfortunately Cici the bird.

However, the MC was still offering prizes and there were several promotions in store.

I was glad to see that all Covid protocols was adhered to and that even full, the shop is spacious enough to observe social distancing.

What can you buy ?

The most important question though is Judy why would you drive an hour from home to go shopping?

West Pack Lifestyle store has it all …

From friendly staff and well organized aisles where the price tags are prominent and clear to a wide assortment of products.

In store we found, amidst other things :

Cleaning products

Bathroom products

Kitchen small appliances

Kitchenware

Plastic storage from lunch tins to large containers

Party decor

Cake baking and decorating items

Braai products

Spices

Outdoor furniture

Kids outdoor toys

Storage options

Laundry items

Educational toys, games, puzzles and learning aids

School and office stationary

Children’s books

Toys

Sweets and other treats

Balloons

You really can purchase almost anything here. ( You can read about the fun press drop we recieved here )

Our shopping experience

Naturally we wanted to buy a few things for Hamish and he gravitated towards a giant dinosaur and a surprise egg.

The staff at the till were amazingly friendly, taking the time to greet Hamish.

As you can imagine he was a really happy little boy holding onto his new soft dinosaur and the dinosaur was actually much cheaper than a similar one I had seen online.

On leaving

On leaving we were finally able to stop at the Crazy Craft gazebo.

Sadly we had missed Cici but Hamish was spoilt with a stunning box of treats (read my review here) from Crazy crafts and his very own Cici bird.

The dinosaur was totally forgotten as he cuddled his new fun feathered friend.

To top our morning out and our great specials Hamish was gifted a Superman lunch box as he was about to leave.

Final thought

In the car he asked if we could shop there every week and I’m looking forward to our next shopping trip out that way, as this is one store Brent doesn’t mind me spending hours in because he is eager to spend hours there too.

One of the most traumatic times of my life was navigating my divorce after 20 years of marriage.

No one gives a thought as they walk down the aisle, bright eyes and full of the dreams of a future,family and happy ever afters, that one day they may in fact be standing inside a courtroom signing a document to end it all.

But

The reality is that there are divorces happening daily. Statistically 4 out of every 10 marriages end before they celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary.

Does this mean that marriage is pointless?

Not at all, marriage is hard work and a constant effort from both partners to keep the relationship healthy.

Sadly, there are times when marriage breaks down, couples grow apart separately or they encounter transgressions that are just too big a hurdle to overcome.

Many may try the services of a marriage counselor to try mend the rift in their marriage and others simply decide that divorce is the best option.

Divorce

In the case of divorce, there are two options :

• Contested divorce
• Uncontested divorce

Uncontested divorce

The later being much easier to navigate as both parties would have reached amicable compromises on child support, child custody, property division and any other issues pertaining to their marriage.

In this regards the couple would be able to approach a legal firm like The Harris Firm and even be able to complete all the legal paper work online to submit to get their divorce through as quickly as possible.

Contested divorce

A contested divorce occurs when the couple have issues in their marriage that they can not come to an amicable compromise on.

These can often take from several months to several years to finalize and run up a huge amount of fees in the interim.

If you decide to divorce your partner

Should you be in a marriage that has broken down to the point of divorce you may want to follow the following steps :

• Discuss with your partner if either of you are willing to see a marriage counselor or mediator and put the work in to save your marriage.
• If not see if you are both able to come to a compromise on the issues in your marriage, children and property.
• Find a good divorce lawyer to either complete an online uncontested divorce or to help you navigate your contested divorce.
• List the physical items and concerns that you wish to raise with your lawyer and take the list with you to your lawyer so that you don’t forget to mention them.

What if you can’t afford a lawyer

If you find yourself in a situation where you do not have the means to afford a lawyer, you can approach Legal aid for financial assistance and raise any concerns with child custody through the family advocate. Maintenance issues can then be assessed through your local maintenance offices and you are able to represent yourself in court.

Personal experience

My divorce took several years to complete as I was unemployed and a housewife when I decided our marriage had come to an end.

It was messy and we could not agree on any issues pertaining to our divorce or our children.

Eventually, my youngest children were living with my ex husband, both of us had new partners and we had no assets together as we had been separated for close on 5 years already.

We looked at online divorce and chose to complete the divorce without lawyers.

In hindsight, I realise that if I had consulted a lawyer I would better have looked after mine and my children’s long term interests.

My advice to anyone looking to get divorced, consult a lawyer if you can.

If covid has taught me anything it’s how to set healthy boundaries in my life to protect my mental health.

It has also shown me just how nasty some people can be online.

A new normal

We spend many more hours online working or just surfing the net, than we did a year ago and as such our online spaces have become a much larger part of our day.

Now, I’m by nature really honest and try to stay as positive as I can but a few months back I found myself angry, negative and hating my own online spaces.

Why?

Mostly because they were so full of negativity.

Toxic family members, moaning colleagues and disgruntled people seemed to be filling my spaces and sucking me into a toxic vacuum of negative emotion and bad head spaces.

Thankfully I realised this as I found myself muttering how stupid someone was thinking for the fourth time that day.

Change

I needed to make a change.

Now, I work online so making that change was not at all easy. It meant that I need to be online for a large majority of my day.

I started by looking at who was occupying my online space.

Facebook

Facebook is my platform of choice and I share a lot my personal thoughts on my profile so first I deleted all toxic friends and family.

Next I removed anyone I had not actually spoken to in 6 months. Honestly do we even chat to that kid we sat next to in 1982 or great aunt Mary’s ex husband?

This meant I was freeing up the space for more authentic and genuine encounters with positive people who would uplift me. As they say we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with and this applies online as well.

Then I started to delete news feed groups and pages as they popped up that no longer served me. No more blind following of Lucy’s cake page or News 24.

Choosing when and what I interact with also does not fill me with unnecessary information throughout the day.

Instagram

Instagram was next as I work from this platform there were so many brands and pages that just did not resonate with me anymore that I had once followed for work.

Several people I followed were no longer on the same mindset as me or what they were posting was filling me with anxiety or negativity. I did the fastest clean up of Instagram.

I also checked everyone following me to see that I aligned with them. No unwanted Bitcoin accounts or people trying to get me to sell essential oils.

Twitter

This was a hard one as I don’t have a big following but I did cut down here as well. Twitter is shorter content so you can see negativity much quicker and I no longer follow anyone who is not positive in their posts.

As for the rest of my life, I also refined my email subscription list. No longer do I recieved spam or newsletters that I honestly do not read.

Within a week I noticed a difference and no longer sat under a cloud of other people’s opinions, sadness, nastiness and complaints.

Final thoughts

We will never change just how much more we are all becoming reliant on the online spaces for work or recreation but we can be mindful of how we use our space and what we consume whilst online.

Just as we would warn our children to choose their friends, be mindful of the places they visit and surround themselves with those who uplift them and help them to grow … we should take the same advice when navigating our online spaces.

My eldest daughter just turned 29 and I realised that in another year I’ve spent 3 decades parenting.

Almost 30 years of my life as a mom ….30 years of growing in wisdom.

Today I’d like to share 30 parenting secrets I’ve learnt along the way ….

30 things about parenting that I’ve learnt in 3 decades of being a mom

1. Love your child ….regardless and as is. Totally and unapologetically unconditionally without reserve.

2. Be honest ….if your child asks a question answer honestly and to their level of understanding. And let them be honest with you.

3. Keep the magic …now there is no need to be too honest about things that make childhood magical like Santa, the Easter bunny, Tooth fairy or leprechauns.

4. One childhood …our children only get one chance at a childhood let them enjoy it.

5. Discipline…is needed and vital for your child to function in society. Don’t be afraid to say no. Spoilt children who never learn the word no are not pleasant to be around.

6. I love you …Kids need to hear these words, often.

7. I hate you …you will hear these words more than once, don’t take it personally.

8. A child will often lash out or behave worse with a parent they feel safe with. Set boundaries if your child is acting out, but rest assured they know you love them and feel safe expressing themselves.

9. Boundaries and rules are important and needed both for you to run your home and grow your child safely and for your child to feel secure and function in society as an adult one day.

10. There are no perfect parents , all the perfect parents haven’t had kids yet.

11. Trust your gut/ intuition and instincts, you know your child better than anyone else.

12. It is OK to be different. Teach your child early to embrace their financial situation, love their faith or religion and be proud of their culture and heritage.

13. Patience is the trick to great parenting. ( and huge amounts of coffee, a mom bun and sensible shoes)

14. Teaching our children tolerance, respect and acceptance for others will give them a better standing in life than all the money or good schools ever could.

15. Lead by example. Your child will follow what you do long before they listen to what you say.

16. You don’t always need to like your child…you do need to love them and guide them out of the phases you don’t like.

17. You can’t choose your child’s friends, you can however discuss why you don’t like them and step back to trust your child to make the right choices.

18. Your child needs roots …they need a stable home with strong morals, good values and family traditions to become the best people they can be.

19. They also need wings … independence is critical to them becoming functional adults in society and it’s advisable to start independence young by teaching them to clean their toys, pack their bags, make their bed, etc

20. Responsibility… goes hand in hand with independence. Teach your child to be responsible for themselves and their belongings.

21. We all make mistakes.. but teach them to take responsibility if they make a mistake. Also teach them no mistake is too big it can’t be fixed. Let them know you love them even if they mess up.

22. A family that cleans together has a happier mom …teach your children to do chores and help out around the house. This cuts moms cleaning time down giving her more time to spend with the kids and prepares our children for life in the real world one day when mom isn’t there to do the laundry.

23. Laugh…play and have fun. Life is not always serious so enjoy the time playing together.

24. Pick your battles…you don’t always need to follow the rules to the T. There can be times when you break the rules, or deviate from them slightly. It’s OK for your children to go to bed later on a weekend or eat a cupcake for breakfast on their birthday. This teaches the kids balance.

25. Show charity and kindness to strangers but more importantly show it to your family. Teach your children to value family and be kind to others.

26. Mom needs a break …take the time to do something for yourself. You are not a bad mom if you leave them over night at their grandparents just to seep or go on that momcation alone. Our children need happy moms so we need to fill our cups often.

27. Your kids will know better than you …until they have kids and then you will be the wisest woman again.

28. Soak up the cuddles and love when they are little and learn your child’s love language so that you can understand how to connect when they are teens.

29. Mom guilt …don’t go there. If you have always done the best you knew how and changed when you knew better then you are a perfect amazing and wonderful mother, even if your best did not look like someone else’s.

30. Take the photos… one day you will want the memories 💕

Yesterday, while out I noticed a beautiful woman, most likely in her late 3O’s, walking with a man I assumed is her husband.
She held onto a backpack full of items for the two little girls running ahead of her.

Under one arm was an abandoned well loved teddy bear and she was holding someone’s discarded pink shoes in the same hand that she tried to hold a plastic water bottle in.
Her husband seemed blissfully unaware to her struggles, and had walked several paces ahead, clearly enjoying the day out.

And I noticed that while she constantly checked in on the kids, calling instructions and never letting her eyes fall off them, she also simultaneously tried to enjoy the beauty of the park around her, stopping to take a photo for the family’s albums, only to discover that her husband had wondered further and she had to run a little to catch up to him each time.

Sound familiar

Are you this mom? Is your mother , your sister, your aunt or your neighbour this mom?

We have all seen her, perhaps even been her!
So, if you are now thinking, as I was … wow! That husband is an ass. Don’t worry you are not alone in your thinking.

I watched her, as we were both walking to the same destination and I so much wanted to reassure her that she was a wonderful mom.

And there I was deep in thoughts of the mental mother load when I noticed that her situation only got worse.

A man with a wondering eye

To me,the woman’s beauty was evident and she is obviously a devoted mother and wife. . . A woman any man should cherish!
Sadly her husband’s eyes, as he walked ahead of her, kept darting to oogle the other women who walked past him.
As he admired the body or eyes or legs or tight shorts on woman passing him by, not once did he think to marvel at the wonderful woman behind him.
Not once, as he selfishly distanced himself from his family, did he think to take his wife’s hand or smile at her.
Not once did he offer to unburden some of the days parafanalia from her weary arms or call to their precious little girls so that his exhausted wife could enjoy the outing alongside her family, instead of from the point of watching them.
Not once, did the woman he chose to marry, to have as his partner, to cherish and love, cross his mind!

A man thing and a woman’s fears

Now, I hear you …all men look.
Perhaps, but what he also failed to notice was how the beautiful smile left his wife’s lips each time her eyes saw him admiring the other women walking past.
You see, while he may have thought it an innocent gesture to admire a women, his wife questioned herself.
Was she ugly? Was she fat? Her hair wasn’t long enough, her nails not manicured, she had no make up on, when last did she wash her hair?
And just like that the seeds of self doubt dragged up every insecurity and self hate she had ever felt.
Her family outing, which had early on in the trip become for her mostly about work and duty had already left little enjoyment for her as she navigated her husband and children.

So, now her family outing became a game of self loathing and doubt.

A mental overload, if you will, of why doesn’t my husband love me?

And why?

Because society and our upbringing will have us as women believe that if a man strays, looks away or is in any way not attentive to the woman he is with that he is not interested in her, finds her unattractive or he is sexually active with someone else and all of this, in societies eyes, is the fault of the woman beside him.
This seems like a considerable unfair and hugely inaccurate burden to place on a women who already sacrifices most of her day light hours for her family.

A new way to look

What if I told you that the reason our male friend’s eyes oogled other women was nothing to do with the woman he was with and everything to do with him.

Let’s break this down …..

…..

He purposefully strode ahead of his wife instead of holding her hand or walking next to her… this distance meant that he had disengaged before the trip had begun. He did not want to be there.
He ignored his children, leaving it up to the mom to care for them. He could have assisted in carrying items and helping her. He could have engaged with his young daughters as he walked. He chose not to be an active, involved parent. Prehaps a yearning for his single life.
His wife was beautiful, so he had no reason to be looking at other women, especially not whilst she could notice. He had no reason to cast doubt in her mind or hurt her heart.
But he did and his reason for this was about his ego and his needs.

His selfishness.

He needed to know that he was still desirable.

He is also obviously not appreciative of the woman he has. He is not at all respectful of her feelings or of the other women, who most likely do not take his stares and looks as flattery as they see his wife struggling behind him.
So sadly this husband is both immature and perhaps not truly invested in his marriage.

He does not have the skills to make a relationship work nor does he have the willingness to try.
He is also most likely highly unaware that his wife, who is used to watching the kids slightest movements, immediately picks up his behaviour in a flash.

He most likely calls her jealous if she calls him out and tries to make her feel at guilty for his faults and transgressions.

Let’s Get this right…

There is nothing wrong with our busy mom!

She did not stop to walk ahead of her husband. She did not ignore her children. She did not need to fuel her ego or prove her beauty by admiring every man that passed her and she did not at any time make her husband feel any less than the perfect man for her.

Let us as women start to remind the women, moms, sisters and neighbours of their beauty, their strength and as women raise a generation of women who know that their value does not diminish if the person they are with does not have the emotional maturity to treat them with gentle, loving respect.

Hamish discovered that the Easter bunny was in fact invisible and hiding around our house today looking for just the right spot to hide Easter eggs for tomorrow’s egg hunt.

As you can see, we’ve added an Easter bunny into the photo next to Hamish.

How did we do that?

Very easily, let me tell you how.

Capture the magic

You can add some Easter bunny magic to your Easter hunt in a few minutes when you download the APP – Capture the magic from your phone.

This App allows you to either take a photo of a room of your home or your child or add one from your phone gallery.

You then add stickers of objects or text into the photo and adjust to size and position.

Several of the sticker sets need to be purchased but there is however a large selection of free options.

I just used a free set of Easter stickers and found this Easter bunny to add to our photos.

Once your photos have been taken and you’ve added a sticker you download the image to your phone or share it directly to your social media networks.

Add the magic

For Hamish this APP allows us to add a little magic and I took several photos and showed him the Easter bunny next to him.

He was so impressed he went to bed early as the Easter bunny was waiting for him to sleep so that he could come hide eggs.

And finally I took a photo if the bunny next to the places we hid his eggs and near him sleeping as proof that the bunny was here.

A little magic goes a long way when you are 4 years old.