Divorce ….

One of the most traumatic times of my life was navigating my divorce after 20 years of marriage.

No one gives a thought as they walk down the aisle, bright eyes and full of the dreams of a future,family and happy ever afters, that one day they may in fact be standing inside a courtroom signing a document to end it all.


The reality is that there are divorces happening daily. Statistically 4 out of every 10 marriages end before they celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary.

Does this mean that marriage is pointless?

Not at all, marriage is hard work and a constant effort from both partners to keep the relationship healthy.

Sadly, there are times when marriage breaks down, couples grow apart separately or they encounter transgressions that are just too big a hurdle to overcome.

Many may try the services of a marriage counselor to try mend the rift in their marriage and others simply decide that divorce is the best option.


In the case of divorce, there are two options :

  • Contested divorce
  • Uncontested divorce

Uncontested divorce

The later being much easier to navigate as both parties would have reached amicable compromises on child support, child custody, property division and any other issues pertaining to their marriage.

In this regards the couple would be able to approach a legal firm like The Harris Firm and even be able to complete all the legal paper work online to submit to get their divorce through as quickly as possible.

Contested divorce

A contested divorce occurs when the couple have issues in their marriage that they can not come to an amicable compromise on.

These can often take from several months to several years to finalize and run up a huge amount of fees in the interim.

If you decide to divorce your partner

Should you be in a marriage that has broken down to the point of divorce you may want to follow the following steps :

  • Discuss with your partner if either of you are willing to see a marriage counselor or mediator and put the work in to save your marriage.
  • If not see if you are both able to come to a compromise on the issues in your marriage, children and property.
  • Find a good divorce lawyer to either complete an online uncontested divorce or to help you navigate your contested divorce.
  • List the physical items and concerns that you wish to raise with your lawyer and take the list with you to your lawyer so that you don’t forget to mention them.

What if you can’t afford a lawyer

If you find yourself in a situation where you do not have the means to afford a lawyer, you can approach Legal aid for financial assistance and raise any concerns with child custody through the family advocate. Maintenance issues can then be assessed through your local maintenance offices and you are able to represent yourself in court.

Personal experience

My divorce took several years to complete as I was unemployed and a housewife when I decided our marriage had come to an end.

It was messy and we could not agree on any issues pertaining to our divorce or our children.

Eventually, my youngest children were living with my ex husband, both of us had new partners and we had no assets together as we had been separated for close on 5 years already.

We looked at online divorce and chose to complete the divorce without lawyers.

In hindsight, I realise that if I had consulted a lawyer I would better have looked after mine and my children’s long term interests.

My advice to anyone looking to get divorced, consult a lawyer if you can.

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