When your child tells you things you dont want to hear

Being the mom of 5 grown children, one thing I can promise you is that if you have children, the day is going to come when they will tell you something you weren’t prepared to hear.

As young parents we dream our children’s futures,and map out a path for them and then life happens and our children choose a different road or make mistakes discovering who they are along the way.

But how you react to your child confiding their choices, rash decisions or mistakes can determine the future relationship between you and your children.

The best advise I read shortly after one of my strong willed, independent children chose to make their way into the wide world, not heeding my advise was the following….

Give thanks

When your child confides in you thank them.

Your child has just trusted you enough, knowing that your reaction could be hurtful to them, to share something difficult. Thank them for being courageous enough to do so. Thank them for trusting you.

Show love

Remind your child that you love them, because you do.

Say I love you and follow this with a hug. If you and your child do not show much affection to one another , try reaching out and squeezing their hand or placing your hand on their shoulder. The physical contact will show them you care and are supporting them.

Be interested

Be genuinely interested in what they have shared with you. Ask questions and engage in an open conversation with them to learn more and correctly support them.

If they share something on a topic you have limited knowledge about state that you don’t know much about the topic, invite your child to share their knowledge with you.

An expressed willingness to love your child unconditionally and learn more about the topic they share,invites the conversation to continue and buys you time to be a rational parent rather than a reactionary parent.

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