Are you ready to die ?

I was recently diagnosed with a blood clot behind my lung. ( You can read this account on the blog under A BODY SHUTTING DOWN part 1 to 6)

The very real understanding of just how close I came to having a stroke,heart attack or brain anurism hit me incredibly square in the face.

I thought about death.

I wondered if I was ready to die.

These are questions I’ve never asked myself. They questions I’ve never even thought of after all, I’ve been too busy living my life to be concerned about death.

I was adamant that, as I reflected back on my life, I had no regrets. I’ve lived my life the best I’ve known how to and when I learnt better I changed. I have loved passionately and without hesitation. I’ve failed and picked myself up.

Yes …

I determined… I had lived and for that I wouldn’t be sorry if my time on this earth expired.

The only thing that worried me was if my children would know just how much their mother loved each and every one of them?

As mothers we sacrifice so much of ourselves, our hearts, our lives for our families never knowing if our children understand just how deep and unconditional that love is.

As I sat on my bed two weeks ago, riding the waves of nauciousness and pain. Hoping that I could conjour up some energy to make it through the day It dawned on me that I was giving up.

I’d become complacent.

I’d accepted my bodies unwillingness through pain and weakness to allow me the energy and pace at which I usually live my life. But worst of all, I’d accepted, through my lack of regret, that this is all I could accomplished. I’d unwittingly accepted that I was ready to leave a weary world.
What truly reflected to me was just how often this happens not just to those who have been told they die, but to everyone.

How many people get stuck in a rut, caught in a situation or complacently go through the motions of yet another day just accepting this is their life.

How many people live 75 years just trudging through the motions never breaking free to express themselves and explore life ?

Today, ask yourself …..

” if i were to die today would i have completed everything i want to? ”

” if i were to die today did i love enough”

” am i ready to die today or am I ready to start living my life ? “

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