Having had my older 6 kids quite close together our early years were hectic, chaotic, noisy, busy and full of energy …usually the kids not mine.
I was exhausted, overworked and touched out a lot of the time.
However,
I loved every minute of it.
Bonds
I especially loved watching my children bond with each other as they navigated daily life and growing up.
Some days they were the best of friends and other days we were deep in the trenches of sibling rivalry.
But
No matter how much they argued and hated on each other, they also stood up for each other, looked out for each other and wouldn’t let each other get hurt.
Boys
The boys especially had a unique relationship. One minute fighting and rugby tackling each other to be the first to grab something and the next minute all huddled up on the couch playing games and trying to beat the same person online.
I’ve never tried to understand it. I simply accepted that it was a part of them learning to grow.
Kindness
And so it was that that as their mom I knew they would most likely argue with the brother closest in age to them but look out for the younger brothers through pure instinct.
In a group of children my boys would be the ones including the child sitting out or helping the younger kids. It’s a trait of theirs that I’ve always been increadibly proud of.
Hamish
It’s also something I feel Hamish has missed out of. He’s missed the mass group of boys to compete with, learn from, look out for and grow with.
He loves his brothers and they are so good with him,but as a mom who has already watched a busy group of boys grow I so often wish that for him.
New friends
Last year a family of boys moved into our complex and Hamish gravitated to them like a magnet.
These boys are busy,mischievous, sometimes naughty but increadibly respectful.
They’ve adopted Hamish into their crew and look out for him like a brother.
My mom heart watches with loving nostalgia as I watch them play, look out for each other and get up to normal little boy hijinks.
All of which I still don’t understand.
Yesterday
Yesterday they fondly called for him from the bottom of the steps. Loud calls of “Hamish“, echoing from all 3 and I’m sure every one of the 400 flats heard them.
They had just received new bikes and called him to see the bikes and ride with them.
However, hamishs breaks aren’t that great so he is only allowed on the grass …none of them hesitated as they all chose to ride on the grass.
At one point Hamish fell into a pointy plant. 3 boys dropped their bikes and ran to him shouting to see he was ok( because boys ddon’t alk they only shout). One helping him to get up and another grabbing his bike, while the older one checked the handle bars and seat were OK.
I kept thinking …my boy you are in good company.
Next they played inside, each working together to built the overpriced hot wheels track as they argued over who was having which car. Finally coming to a compromise and all cleaning up ….without me telling them to do so!
When I handed out sweets, the youngest were given first and each child reminded the others to put the papers in the bin.
Big families big lessons
You see Big families are awesome.
They grow a group of children that may not have the latest toy, have to wear hand me downs and most likely don’t get the opportunities of an only child
However
They gain so very much more.
They learn to compromise, share and be kind.
They learn to lookout for others and take responsibility early.
They learn to fight for what they want ( in the more polite term they learn to establish what they want and figure out how to get it) , to develop individually and to grow .
They learn about personal space and boundries, they learn to become empathic and care about other people.
They learn that happiness doesn’t require a lot, to entertain themselves and how to be bored.
They learn to work in a group, find time to be alone and when to give each other space.
They learn to love each other even when you don’t like them, how to do things for the benefit of their family and how to become leaders.
They learn to think, compromise and figure out a solution.
They become innovative and creative to make the games and toys they don’t have.
They understand the value of money and know that some days a peanut butter sandwich is just as good as a takeaway pizza
Mostly they learn to appreciate nature, being outside and more than often are grateful for what they have.
Big families
I for one value each of these qualities in my children. I love big families and always will.
And even though Hamish is being raised the youngest and only small child of 7 children,these are the skills I hope he learns.
So to every big family out there ….
Well done !
