Celebrating the older mom - Febe from Febe and Mishska in Wonderland

Next up in our CELEBRATING THE OLDER MOM series is Febe Marias.

Febe is the creative mom of a beautiful daughter, Mishka and blogs over at Febe and Mishka in Wonderland .

Why you chose to have a baby after 40:

I believe everything happens for a reason. My previous marriage didn’t work out the way we thought it would. Not by choice but by the grace of God did I not meet anyone I could consider as a serious partner for the next 10 years after our divorce.

By that time I was convinced that I would be single and childless for the rest of my life! As fate would have it, I met the most wonderful man, never married, no children at a very unglamorous event my brother dragged me to. We dated for a while and got married when I was 38. We had big travel and scuba diving adventures planned, but in the end we decided that if there was going to be a Marais family it had to happen sooner than later as I was approaching 40 at which felt like an unmatched pace! After six months of trial and error we found out we were expecting!

How this affected your health

I was so lucky to have a beautiful, uncomplicated pregnancy and even decided to give normal birth. Being a stay at home mom helped so much with breastfeeding as I could spend every waking moment with her for those first three years.

How you feel being an older mom has it’s benefits

Many women think it’s easier to be a young mom, but for me it was a completely different experience as I took quite a while to figure out what makes me truly happy and I sorted through many issues before I had Mishka. Surprisingly my age gave me more patience, as I now had the time I needed to look after my child, without any rules or preconceived ideas. I did it according to what I knew would be best for Mishka and our family.

Have you come across any negativity being an older mom?

Not really, and if there is negativity I just couldn’t be bothered. What does my age have to do with being a good mommy? I think I have much more life experience and thus can give advice to younger mommies I meet about life in general, not just about motherhood. There’s also the added benefit of being totally ‘streetwise’, I had many years to test many different things, and this will come in very handy when Mishka hits those dreaded teens 

Something you would change this time round?

I would not change a thing! Everything is perfectly according to God’s plan for my life.

Words of wisdom to younger mom’s

The most important thing I want mommies to know is that it is of no use to compare yourself to others. Not on a financial or emotional level. You are so blessed to be a mother and that should be your only focus, to nurture and provide for your family as best you can. The rest is just a distraction. Try to look inwards rather than outwards, and be kind to yourself and other moms, nobody is the perfect mom, we are just different and so your way may not work for me and vice versa. We could all learn from each other just by simply observing others and not pass judgement or opinions. Be yourself and be the mother you always wanted to have.