How to truly love in your relationships

The greatest gifts you can give someone are your time, your attention, your love, and your concern. …

These words have so often graced the posts on Fun mamma SA , and we read , nod our head in affirmation and go on thinking how we can afford our next holiday ,new car, ect.

This month let’s stop and take notice of the relationships around us -partner- children-friends-work colleagues- and truthfully, from our hearts put these into practice.

Time and attention

In our busy world finding time for our families and friends can be difficult, especially with the demands and stress of life .

But how nice for us to wake to a friend or family members email, or social network message . If you have older children or are separated from your children, a good morning message and good night hugs mean more than a lengthy email. Share short messages , jokes or photos during the day , all of these say “I’m thinking of you”.

Put aside 20 minutes a day for individual time with each child – if you can pencil in gym, shopping,tennis , you have time. Don’t make this homework time. Some of my favorites are a cuddle and story . As a large family , this was often difficult when the kids were small -so my solution was to give each child a day , and we would walk alone to the shop to buy bread (and a small treat) and chat there and back.

Giving the children different age appropriate bed times also allowed for a small quick cuddle time just before bed.

Spend alone time with your spouse/partner daily , even if it just a special good night or a quiet chat in the car to the shops . Make the effort to spend at least an hour or two alone each weekend. Staying connected is vital to any partnership.

When we give someone our time , we also give them our attention. This says I think your worthy and I want to spend time with you.

Our children, especially , need this validation to build a healthy EQ.

I don’t believe attention can be divided as you multitask . If you are speaking to someone who’s mind is everywhere else and they are so busy with something -are they truthfully giving you their attention?

Stop what you doing …….attention is a gift to give and its gift wrapped in time . 

Love and concern

Love your children and the special people in your life. This sounds so easy but can you love unconditionally?

Can you accept those around you, even with their faults? Do you forgive the small hurts and try to see the other persons side before answering In anger ? Can you unselfishly give of yourself to serve them?

We all need unconditional love and praise. We all need someone to believe in us and support us.

Our children learn from us , what are you teaching them about love ?

Having never heard my parents tell me they loved me , I was determined when raising my order 6 children, and now with Hamish too, that there would never be a day go by that my children would not hear the words ‘I love you ‘. So much so that as I call their names when they were little, they often turn and say “yes , I know -you love me! ”

This may sound overdone but when you feel loved , you have a healthy self confidence and your self esteem soars .

I want my children to be the best they can be , for that they need to know they were always wanted and loved .

This is the same for couples -if you ask a majority of divorced couples what the contributing factor of their divorce -one will inevitably say that the other didn’t love them.

Corinthians states “Love endures all things ” 

So how do we show love ? By giving of our time and attention . Seems so simple and yet we have so many lonely broken people.

Concern is our love and empathy for our friends . Treating them as we want to be treated . Making time for them and being their to support. Not because you always know or truthfully understand but because that person is important in your life and you care.

So this month , truly and truthfully give of your love , concern, attention and time .




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