Morning ramblings

There I was, sleep in my eyes, mommy bun looking like a bird’s nest as my slippered feet made their own way to the kitchen.

I’d woken the kids and mumbled something to myself about why moms need to wake up and be the people to make coffee. Just once I’d like to be woken up with coffee and my day prepared for me.

Yawning last night’s sleep out of me, I flipped the light and grabbed the empty kettle. Quickly filling it and packing the night’s dishes away at the same time.

An unwashed plate lay mocking me on the kitchen counter and I silently begrudge the person who left it there, well aware that it was one of the monkeys in my own handmade circus!

Made mental note to self to train monkeys better.🙈

Grabbed the bread and lunch boxes and began my morning preparations. Pulled out 4 slices per person and turned to the fridge to grab the margarine.

I slid the tub onto the counter and closed the fridge. Making the coffee quickly, as the kettle spat out boiling stream patterns from its spout.

Opening the marg, I was gobsmacked!

Wtf!

Like what the actual fudge fingers were my children thinking. No! Wait, they couldn’t have been thinking…

Who? Just who in all of early morning madness puts an empty tub of margarine back into the fridge.

Really!

Here I stood, oversized shirt barely covering my now shivering ass in all of winters crispness looking at the empty tub wanting to scream.

The other tub was in the deep freezer and no amount of glittery happy thoughts or unicorn wishes was going to thaw it in time for me to make lunches…

Plan B

Leftovers! Don’t you just love leftovers? I filled a lunch tin with my pasta meal from last night for papa. Added some pepper and a fork and whaaaalaaaa! I had lunch for one.

And the kids?

Well believe me there was the temptation to let them starve after not throwing away the margarine tub and taking the other out, but somewhere my mind reminded me that jail sentences would be worse than a home of teenagers and anyway I don’t look good in orange jumpsuits.

Scouting the cupboard I found peanut butter. My non-caffeinated brain reasoned that this was perfect. It already contained the butter – the label said so. And peanuts are healthy … bonus!

I opened the lid of the peanut butter, ready to spread onto the now waiting bread slices. As I perched my steel cold butter knife above the container ready to dive deep into the creamy brown substance I found …

Nothing!

Like wtf!!!!

Seriously??????

I give up! It appears the same monkey that was stupid enough to leave an empty tub in my fridge also left one in my cupboard.

Now I’ll give them an A for consistency but …and at that point, my mommy brain remembered I had 10 minutes to deliver coffee and get these lunches made.

I turned into Mary popping, silently ( or psychotically) singing a spoon full of sugar and using the back of the knife ( as it works like a paint scraper and allows you to grab the last lingering splats of peanut butter clinging to the container) I managed to make sandwiches.

Chucked in an apple to compliment my meal and stood back knowing I wasn’t winning a ” my mom packs awesome lunches” award today.

Oh well …

I’ll just grab the bad mom title as I take my now frozen ass back upstairs with a cup of coffee and think about the lecture I’m delivering tonight on empty containers.

Be a parent they said! It’ll be fun they said! 🤷‍♀️