The last few months I’ve avoided photos of myself.
Gosh I’m fat
I’m not comfortable with my size, my double chin and a thousand and one other features that I criticise daily if I catch a glimpse of the offending body part.I don’t like the angle the photos are taken in and in most of them I have a forced expression that resembles me being constipated.I’ve even had fewer and fewer photos of Hamish and I, much preferring to be behind the camera.This I know is wrong and I’m aware of how much I will want these photos a year from now but growing up in a home where I was reminded that I was fat and how ugly that was has taken its toll along the years.As much as I’ve never tried to focus on my weight, subconsciously if I’m not a size 30 I’m just fat.
Through the eyes of a child
So when Yesterday I had a few photos taken at the EON event and as I was sifting through my bag last night, they landed on the bed.Hamish picks this photo up , examines it and says …
” My lovely mommy”
My heart just exploded.There is no more honest expression of love ( or anything else for that matter) than that of a toddler. They will be brutal when telling you their opinion and it’s that childlike honesty that we often need.
A favourite
This has become my favourite photo of me and on the days when I berate my chubby thighs and hate my hair, or on the days I believe I’m just fat or feel unappreciated….I’m going to look at this photo and remember how awesome I look through his eyes ♥️
