I once had the cutest little neighbour, let’s call him John.
John was truly an adorable little 3 year old and in typical boy fashion he was rowdy and full of adventures. He was curious and at that age where he would pick up everything thing- new words, behaviors or mannerisms-from the people around him.
John’s parents both worked and John attendsed the local preschool. His parents live loud. They were young, not as focused on childhood development and prone to loud, argumentative disputes with each other…making them absolutely nightmares as neighbour’s.
With constant conflict and disputes around him, John was a quick tempered child. He would often throws an assortment of verbal assaults at his little friends and wildly wield a tantrum or tears when he couldn’t get his own way.
Now, many of these behaviors ( like the tantrums) are a typical 3 year old little boys behavior. However, many (like the nasty threats and words to his friends) are not.
Someone meeting John for the first time, not privy to his parents lifestyle would immediately judge him as a spoilt, undisciplined child.
But
John was just a product of what he witnesses…his parents words, attitude and behaviour had become a basis of his personality.
Unrealistic expectations
Many times as parents, we often expect our children to behave better than we do. We expect better discipline, more manners or a list of expectations that we ourselves do not meet up to.
We will try to teach our children the list of things that will make them good people, likable in society and make life easier for us as parents without truly looking at ourselves to see that we are infact living the life we are expecting our children to attain.
As parents we are our children’s world. We are their moral compass, sounding board and the one place they trust to learn how to grow, how to live, how to love!
So, the examples we set at home or the way we speak, behave to others and our tone in the home are what they will use as a guide in their own lives as they grow.
A child will very seldom remember the words we say but they will aways rember the silent messages we gave as they were watching.
How children view the world
There’s a wonderful poem that I would often read as a young mom. It’s a reminder of the huge influence and impact you will have on your little human.
“Children Learn What They Live.”
Poem by: Dorothy Law NolteIf a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns
confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he
learns to find love in the world.
