The divorce memo you never recieved

Divorce is hard on everyone and until you step into those shoes it can be easy to give advise and think how you would act in that situation.

But, until you’ve journey down divorces pathways you can not truly understand the heightened emotions and pain each party carries.

Here us the divorce memo you didn’t receive.

I wrote this a month after sending the divorce papers to my ex husband. It was and still is very relevant.

1. You will never get away from whatever bugged you about your spouse , in fact all their faults and irritations will double as they no longer care if you impressed or not.

2. Divorce does not solve disputes -it makes more. If you couldn’t handle an argument whilst married , good luck when divorced dealing with hurt emotions.

3. Divorce will not make you richer ,nor will it allow you a fancier car /ect -you now have two homes that need to be looked after.

4. Divorce will not solve parenting issues . If you couldn’t parent together before, doing so during divorce is 5 times as difficult.

5. Divorce is not a magical word that suddenly turns you into an 18 year old again -your kids have a hard enough time going through pubity without dealing with a ‘teen scene’ parent

6. Divorce doesn’t solve the underlying issues , it gives you space and a new perspective. You still have to sort those issues out in order to parent your children !

7. Divorce does not allow you to give up your responsibilities or duties . In fact all of those just doubled as you prepare your children for a new way of life.

8. Divorce does not allow you to take your moods out on others. No matter how hurt or angry, bitter or sad there’s no reason to blame the world.

9. Divorce also forgets to tell you , your children still need to be brought up, and they will have children. You will have many opportunities to interact with your ex -forever is a long time for someone to hate you!

*(First published in 2013 by Judy Dooley)

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